What do we learn from Disappointments?

Another disappointment. I long waited to hear from the Seminary (DTS) Library for an interview for my application. Still I did not hear from them. It is the way they quietly say you have not selected (now I know the method thanks to several similar experiences).

The only possible reason I could guess is that I could not commit to work for two years. I am hoping to end my DTS academic life in fall 2009.

I am a man of books; I love books and to work around them. Most of all, I wanted to get trained in DTS library, so that it would be benefitted to the majority country like Sri Lanka, in my work field of theological education. Now I am used to these kinds of disappointments. It always reminded me that I am just here for temporary time. My real ministry is back home.

This is my eighth moth out of employment (I've got several job opportunities off campus, unfortunately I can't consider them because of my visa status).

New students apartment costs a lot. Hence, I have very little left as pocket money for food and other needs. I really live in US as I were living in back Sri Lanka: 'hand to mouth lifestyle!' Ironic isn't it? I have survived eight moths by the grace of God; certainly, I can do another 17 months. Then, yes only then, I am free to fly back home. Oh... How I long for that day!

This week I learned that one of my church plants has suffered persecution and had to stop gathering as a community. The worker, who suffered was my best friend. He had to stop his ministry again due to the threats (Please remember him and his family in your prayers).

All these disappointments lead me back to the reflection of my question. My answer to the question, "What do we learn from our disappointments?" is "we learn to trust God more!" We learn to put trust daringly in Him and in Him only.

Just meditate on these words...

"I’ve got nothing left to hide -My armor’s on the ground

This battle’s left me dry - My strength has broken down

You pull me to Your side

I’m suddenly surrounded by Your hand

Perfectly astounded I can stand

Your power is what’s keeping me together

Your strength is all that’s keeping me alive

Your fortress is the only hope I have to survive"[1]

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[1] "Fortress" (Orthodoxy) written by Eddie Kirkland © 2007 Eddie Kirkland Music.

I wish summer ends quickly!

Several weeks back, while we were walking in the Mall, one of my friends said, "I wish summer ends quickly!" This remark led to a discussion, where I notice things that I have never noticed before: Most of the ladies in the Mall use to ware less clothes in summer. It was not their fault. Summer days are extremely hot.

Yes, he was right! Summer is a hard time for singles (I suppose even to the married). It is the time where we get easily tempted by sight.

I have recently come across two articles which shed insight to this subject. Steven Fockner said that the punishment for deluge in Genesis 6 is due to human guilt of mixing with each other, resulting lost of faith on the earth. [1] He sees 'sons of God' as human beings who were the remnant safe guard the faith. In the second article Kaminski states the sin was committed by sight as in the Eden story (Gen 3). [2] The echos Gen 3:6 could be heard in Gen 6:2. Note the incidental sequence made in the successive story.

"Waltke observes that 3:6 and 6:2 have shared vocabulary and suggested that the sin of the sons of God 'repeat the patten (Saw... good... took) of the original sin in 3:6"[3]

"The trigger action of the flood strong is 'the sons of God saw (wayyir'u) the daughters of men, kitob, 'how good', they were and they took wives from whomever the chose. Note here that this trigger event parallels nicely the one in the Adam and Eve story, 'the woman saw' (wattere') how good (kitob) the tree was for food... and she took from its fruit and she eat." [3]

John put it perfectly,

"I write to you, young people, because you are strong and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one. Do not love the world or the things in the world. The love of the Father is not in those who love the world; for all that is in the world-- the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eyes, the pride in riches-- comes not from the Father but from the world " (1 John 2:14-16 NRSV).

Summer arouse many feelings. Some of them are regrets and of loneliness. A deep longing for marriage may lead to harbour wrong thoughts. It may make us to envy others, that have what we don't or hold grudges and resentments toward God for the failure in His part to supply a suitable mate for us.

After reading this article, like me, you may also notice things that passed unnoticed. It may arouse the curiosity or may wake up the long sleeping adversary. However, this note is to caution us to hold our guards high and not entertain thoughts which rob the joy and sweet communion of our Lord.

My plea in this summer, is to be cautious!

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[1] Steven Fockner, "Reopening the Discussion: Another Contextual Look at the Sons of God," Journal for the Study of the Old Testament vol. 32.4 (2008): 435-456.

[2] Carol M. Kaminski, "Beautiful Women of 'false Judgement?': Interpreting Genesis 6.2 in Context of the Primeval History," Journal for the Study of the Old Testament, vol. 32.4 (2008): 457-473.

[3] B. Waltke, Genesis: A commentary. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001), 117.

[4] I.M. Kikawada, "A Quantitative Analysis of 'Adam and Eve', 'Cain and Abel', 'Noah' stories" in E.W. cord and E.G. Newing eds., Perspective on language and text (Winona Lake, IN: Eisebrauns, 1987), 198.

The Fall of a Literary Giant

Aleksander Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008) was considered to be a man who never been afraid for critical truth under pressing might of the Communist super power. In his speech at the Noble prize for literature he quoted a Russian proverb and said, "One word of truth shall outweigh the whole world." He was marked as a man who fearlessly pursue truth and critiqued the political regimes of Soviet Union. He outlived the Soviet Union for more than 17 years, which imprisoned, ostracized and exiled him for many years. His death on August 3, 2008 marks the last of Soviet Union great literary giants.

His first publication called “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich” (1962) brought the life of a prison camp inmate and it made his mark with the literary giants like Tolstoy, Dostoyevski and Chekov. He wrote critical novels of the totalitarian duress in “The First Circle” (1968) to which he got the Nobel Prize and “The Cancer Ward”(1968). He wrote historical novels like “The Gulag Archipelago” (1973-1978) describing the first hand experiences of horror and life of Soviet labor camp.

His literary tradition was considered as “Prophetic Russian literary tradition,” who saw his role to be an Old Testament prophet to expose and denounce the Kremlin and the West . The key feature in Solzhenitsyn’s literature is the Orthodox Christian frame of reference and traditional Christian values and beliefs.

He defined the role of the author or artist as that of truth-teller against lies in the prevailing culture. Note his words in the Noble lecture:

"One artist sees himself as the creator of an independent spiritual world; he hoists onto his shoulders the task of creating this world, of peopling it and of bearing the all-embracing responsibility for it; but he crumples beneath it, for a mortal genius is not capable of bearing such a burden. Just as man in general, having declared himself the centre of existence, has not succeeded in creating a balanced spiritual system. And if misfortune overtakes him, he casts the blame upon the age-long disharmony of the world, upon the complexity of today's ruptured soul, or upon the stupidity of the public.

Another artist, recognizing a higher power above, gladly works as a humble apprentice beneath God's heaven; then, however, his responsbility for everything that is written or drawn, for the souls which perceive his work, is more exacting than ever. But, in return, it is not he who has created this world, not he who directs it, there is no doubt as to its foundations; the artist has merely to be more keenly aware than others of the harmony of the world, of the beauty and ugliness of the human contribution to it, and to communicate this acutely to his fellow-men. And in misfortune, and even at the depths of existence - in destitution, in prison, in sickness - his sense of stable harmony never deserts him."[1]

He was a firm believer of authors or artists should not partake in falsehood and not to support and propagate false conduct:

". . . the simple step of a simple courageous man is not to partake in falsehood, not to support false actions! Let THAT enter the world, let it even reign in the world - but not with my help. But writers and artists can achieve more: they can CONQUER FALSEHOOD! In the struggle with falsehood art always did win and it always does win! " [2]

That was the his important contribution to the 20th century literature.

After 1964, his works were band and soon after the publishing of “Gulag” 1974, he was expelled from Soviet Union. Later he was allowed to return back to Russia. However soon after his return he did wham criticisms on the Mikhail Gorbachyov to Vladimir Putin regimes. Some argue that west has used Solzhenitsyn in the cold war times to embrace the Soviets by giving a Noble prize, just after his 7 years of literary success. Yet his contribution and effort towards the 20th century literary world is unfathomable.

The New York Times states his extreme measures to published “Gulag”:

“Publishers in Paris and New York had secretly received the manuscript on microfilm. But wanting the book to appear first in the Soviet Union, Mr. Solzhenitsyn asked them to put off publishing it. Then, in September 1973, he changed his mind. He had learned that the Soviet spy agency, the KBG, had unearthed a buried copy of the book after interrogating his typist, Elizaveta Voronyanskaya, and that she had hung herself soon afterward.

He went on the offensive. With his approval, the book was speedily published in Paris, in Russian, just after Christmas. The Soviet government counterattacked with a spate of articles, including one in Pravda, the state-run newspaper, headlined “The Path of a Traitor.” He and his family were followed, and he received death threats.

On Feb. 12, 1974, he was arrested. The next day, he was told that he was being deprived of his citizenship and deported.”

Dr. Alebert Mohler wrote,

“He was a man of massive courage and literary ability -- a central character of the twentieth century. He was a moralist to the core, affirming human dignity against Communist oppression and Stalin's murder of millions. Even so, he carried on an affair with the woman who became his second wife and the mother of his sons. He seemed ungrateful to America, but he also saw what many Americans, blinded by historical optimism, could not or would not see in the weakness of the West.

He returned to Russia a prophet, but also a man who seemed strangely out of his times. In his case, a great life of the twentieth century lingered awkwardly into the twenty-first. Nevertheless, his great courage and his literary achievement remain a tribute to the human spirit. Even more, Solzhenitsyn's moral vision serves as a reminder that Christianity alone provides an adequate grounding for human dignity.

When asked once about the force of his writings, Solzhenitsyn explained: 'The secret is that when you've been pitched head first into hell you just write about it.' The world was changed because he did just that.”

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[1] http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1970/solzhenitsyn-lecture.html

[2] Ibid.

Life & Death: what should we make out of them

Harriette Cole's column Sense and Sensitive, had an interesting post appeared on the last Tuesday [1].

Lori, Harlem, NY writes:

Dear Harriette: A woman I admire from distance for many years suddly died. I got word of it but remain somewhat in shock. She really did have a good life, but there something about death that is so final. It is end. And it makes me think about the what-ifs. I know life isin't promised, but I don't have my stuff together, if you know what I mean. If somebody who seemed to have her life together just suddenly lost it, what hope is there for me?

Note the Harriette's response:

Dear Lori: Use this time as an opportunity to look at your life differently. No moment is promised other that the one you are in. Are you living to your potential? Are you cherishing the happy times learning from the challengers before you? Are you welcoming each moment Or are you worrying yourself sick?

You have the power to choose to welcome every day with greater clarity and forcus. Get your life in order. Organized your home, your finances, your friendships, and your relationships. Get clear so you can be ready for anything, including death.

What a shallow answer is this. Many think if you lived a life to its full potential, that would be a great success. This is the classical response of Ecclesiastics.

Few Months back I read a book from Bart Ehrman named God's Problem on the theme of suffering. He was a "born-agin" believer converted through Youth for Christ and then in his later years of theological studies became an agnostic. The book was unfortunately, a superficial handling of the subject. He has not covered all the biblical aspects of suffering including the fall of humanity. However, he also comes to the same conclusion to which Harriette Cole has arrived.

He conclude his book:

"We should love and be loved. We should cultivate our friendships, enjoy our intimate relationships, cherish our family lives. We should make money and spend money. The more the better. We should enjoy good food and drink. We should eat out and order unhealthy desserts, and we should cook steak on the grill and drink Bordeaux. We should walk around the block, work in the garden, watch basketball, and drink beer. We should travel and read books and go to museums and look at art and listen to music. We should drive nice cars and have nice homes. We should make love, have babies, and raise families. We should do what we can to love life-it's a gift and it will not be with us for long.

[tell this to majority world (third world) suffering people like who are living in Sri Lanka]*

But we should also work hard to make our world the most pleasing place it can be for others-whether this means visiting a friend in the hospital, giving more to local charity or international relief effort, volunteering at the local soup kitchen, voting for politicians more concerned with the suffering in the world than with their own political future, or expressing our opposition to the violent oppression of innocence people. What we have in the here and now is all that there is. We need to live life to its fullest and help other as well to enjoy the fruits of the land.

In the end, we may not have ultimate solutions to life's problems. We may not know the why's and wherefore's. But just because we don't have an answer to suffering does not mean that we can not have to respond to it. Our response should be to work hard to alleviate suffering wherever possible and to live life as well as we can"[3].

What about the words of Jesus:

"If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels." (Mark 8:34-38 NRSV).

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[1] The Dallas Morning News, "Comics and Puzzles" Tuesday August 5, 2008.

[2] Picture: "The Cup of Death" (1885) By Elihu Vedder (American artist, 1836-1923)

[3] Bart D. Ehrman, God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question-Why we suffer (New York: Harper One, 2008), 277-278.

*comment is mine

Church should live for others!

Right Reverend Duleep de Chickera conclude his Lambarth sermon at the Eucharist at Canterbury Cathedral by quoting Archbishop William Temple, “‘The Church is the one institution that does not live for itself.’ My dear sisters and brothers, as we move from this wonderful retreat, through this beautiful eucharist into our conference, let us hold on these word. For here is the crux of Anglican identity, and here is the crux of Anglican spirituality. We do not live for ourselves, and all our energy, all our gifts are directed to abundant life for the other.”

It is so very true that church should and must live like the Christ to give life to others. Every Christian’s duty is not to indulge himself with selfishness and self-pity but to look beyond themselves to the decaying and dying world. Only we have the life and we are the people who dare to take radical steps to transform and heal the wounded, which have been overlooked and trampled by many.

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Picture: Poverty and Wealth by William Powell Frith, RA. Signed and dated 1888 at lower left. Oil on canvas: 32 x 47 inches. Provenance: Christie's, 4th May, 1889, lot 139. Exhibited: The Royal Academy, 1888, no. 26.

The one less traveled by,

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost (1874–1963), Mountain Interval, 1920.

Dr. James E. Allman in his summer chapel sermon titled "Ministry Burnout" talk about the road that less travelled. As human's we tend to take the road which frequently traveled. This the road leading to doing things by our own strength and as we see best. Dr. Allman said, “Difference of religion of Man and the religion of living God is who carry whose. Are you serving with a purpose of establishing work of God or Are serving because of God is carrying you?” This question penetrated into my inner most being and woke me from my deep slumber.

While I was in Sri Lanka, I have being working hard and long. Many times got disappointed because I seek to establish the Kingdom of God by my efforts. I have being discourage by opposition, lack of finances, bad things happened to good parishioners, and death of beloved faithful and young fellow workers. I was tired of God’s work. Some times I felt I could not speak a word of encouragement. I hate to preach and reluctant share the word of God. I was so tired. I was so near to burnout; that is because, I missed the crucial point: “Who carry whose?” Do I carry God, his work, and his kingdom in my shoulders or do I dare trust God to carry me in his arms?

He concluded his sermon, “I don’t serve because God needs me. I serve because God has enabled me. I don't serve in order to establish the kingdom of God; I serve because God has established the His kingdom . . . but in the pathless travel when God carrying you; You snuggle into his arms when things are really tuff. Sometimes you cannot tell where the arms are but by faith you claim the idea of childhood, to womb to gray hairs I will carry you!”

Text: Isaiah 46:1-9